Here’s a loose n’ ruff diamond-demo cover of “He Needs Me” by The Nurse Novels. Oh, and there’s a jet plane cameo at the end. Because every song needs more jet planes.

He Needs Me by thealux

I sound like a broken record player, but here I go: I’m in a band. Well, I have attachments to a band. We don’t play out anymore because everyone decided they wanted a backyard or something and got married and/or moved. But we have an album being mastered and a second being mixed. We’re a sleeper band. In the meantime, we make videos to accompany a few B-Side funnies, such as this cover of a song from Mr. Show:

A Mouthful of Sores Ain’t No Fun

With the upcoming release of She & Him’s new Christmas album, Feist’s new warbled melodies dropping into eardrums just a few weeks ago, and Pomplamoose continuing to DIY do what they DIY do, I coined a character for the The Paper Machete to celebrate all the breathy starlets gracing the airwaves as of late. Nadine Valentine can be seen in every indie flick and NBC show, while simultaneously touring with every Pitchfork artist this side of Lollapalooza. She sounds like the love child of Aaron Neville and the Dormouse from “Alice in Wonderland” with a splash of Michael McDonald. She’s equipped with a ukulele, bangs, and tunes that will be repeatedly played in every Apple store and Starbucks until your ears bleed.

You can listen to Nadine plugging her album “Death Takes a Christmas Holiday” here:

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Common characteristics of such females like Nadine Valentine are listed below. (Please ignore the fact that I do fall into some of these categories. I’m well aware of the hypocrisy and have even attempted to sound like these ladies on a few recordings in the hopes of riding on their Anthropolie-purchased coattails. But I don’t have a major label courting my asshole or shoving my songs down people’s throats, so I’m keeping my soapbox close at hand.)

• Nadine is the girl whose essence is fueled by her bangs.
• She knows how to play the ukulele – In fact, it is an extension of her hand a la Evil Dead II.
• Lyrics will cite interchangeable things such as “stars/tears/dreams/moonbeams/heartbreak in your eyes/heart/soul/bones.”
• She is fucking cute…and talented…dammit.
• A rainbow strangled her when she was young.
• She has heard of breath support but chooses not to use it.
• Nadine’s musical idol is a weeping willow tree forlornly whispering its regrets in the wind.
• Her philosophy behind her breathy delivery: “If people like your music enough, they will move closer to hear you sing it.”
• Her last album did so well in sales that she got to take 2-5 years off to recharge. During that time she lived in under a barn in Vermont with a family of foxes.
• She probably has an Etsy page.
• Even though she is stunningly beautiful, the media labels her as “quirky,” thereby completely resetting the standards for any actual quirky girls.
• Vegan gnomes raised her as a child.
• Her porcelain skin secret: She washes her face with unicorn tears.

So The Nurse Novels have enough material for a double album. We’re in so many different stages with these songs since we’re going to release them on iTunes in chunks. Some are already mastered and just waiting on artwork, some have not been mixed, vocals are finally finished on everything and we’re just adding a few horns to fill out the remaining tunes. It’s bittersweet. The band doesn’t physically exist anymore, yet I really like what we’ve created and want to share it with people… And have them shared by people and create opportunities to open for Wild Flag or sing harmonies on “Prairie Home Companion.” Nerds can dream.

Here are two rough mixes of the most recent recordings just so you can get the feel of the latest indie rock that will be heard by few and enjoyed by most:

EMPTINESS IN YES:

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UNBREAKABLE POCKET COMB:

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WORK WHORSE:

Oh, that little asterisks on my resume?

Yeah, that just indicates that I’m JEFF NOMINATED for some music I wrote with some super keen kids.

We’re pretty excited to go to the awards ceremony like fancy schmancy pants. We’ve been using a rope as a belt for some time now, this is the biggest thing to happen to us since [something witty].

We got put into the “Original Incidental Music” category because…well, where else are you going to stick a bluegrass band that performs live during an otherwise non-musical show?

I plan to ride in on a glitter pony if there are no unicorns in stock. That’s what you do at these things, right? Or is it not like the Tony’s?

One of three e-bootlegs of The Nurse Novels posted by Secret Note. Thanks for capturing souls and music, sir.

I was wooed by sweet rock n’ roll last weekend.

We are adults. We don’t get the fame of a teenie-bopper vampire movie. To reach cult status would be second-guessed as ironic and surprising. But we, the royal we, our royal we’s hearts, are floored and overwhelmed by the power of music and its effect on our entire being.

And we’re fine with being an idiot. Things make sense to us in this strange world.

We adjust to being poor. And we keep doing what we’re doing because there’s no other way.  We are meant to be in this world.

We become acclimated with every dusty green room we hole up in before taking the stage.  We tolerate and enjoy playing rock music in 85 degrees, smoky dank churches, with floors slick from spilled alcohol. We feel sweat make its way down our forehead and hang on our eyelashes and enter our mouths as we sing. That sweat coats the back and rains from our bodies as the chorus reprises.  We look at underage spazzes being inspired by thrashing guitar riffs and a chance at ingesting a secret beer.  We power through as strings break, arms flail, mics fall, amps are unplugged, bodies tumble to the floor, feet are stomped, balance is lost, drinks are dropped, voices are lost, levels are off, tuning strays… We carry on.

This week I’m volunteering at a rock camp for girls.  I’m sure they’ll inspire me even more as I teach them about what inspires me.

And with the closing of one show, we begin another immediately.

That Sordid Little Story opens on July 8th at The Viaduct Theater.  I’ll be a part of the live band, writing some good old-fashioned folky tunes.

We had a showcase of some songs n’ scenes we’ve been workshopping over the past three weeks at the Chicago Cultural Center last night.  I’m addicted to this dang ditty.  Take a look and listen:

Hot damn!

I finally got the mp3 plugin to work!  Small victories make me happy when all I have lately is Chicago’s ass cold outside smacking me all up in my ass face…

So here’s a preview of a creepy song for The New Colony‘s production of 11:11 which opens February 8th at Victory Gardens.  These are still demos.  For the actual real creepy Jesus song I’m gonna hire some ghosts to sing some doo-wop backups.  Like in The Amazing Adventures of Pac-Man: The Album.

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Let’s Get Out of This Terrible Sandwich Shop:  Going Out of Business Show

Thursday, August 20th.  9:00 PM  |  The Abbey Pub  |   3420 W. Grace

Due to the economy, Chicago’s least-favorite-eatery-that-is-also-a-band is closing its doors after 5 years, 4 records, and 3 comparisons to They Might Be Giants. Tony, Thea, Tom and Jojo will perform the musics and comedies that have kept audiences amused or bemused (depending on whether you like the band name or hate the band name).

A compilation of 2 new studio tracks and unreleased radio performances, demos, jingles, and strange skits will be made available at the show for early birds.

The Bitter Tears and The Columbines also play. It will be fun but it will also be terrible.