thea lux (dot) com A Subplot.

My guitar – After using a competent Alvarez electric acoustic since the age of 16, I financially graduated into an adult, cashed in stock, did research, asked for help, and had a Guild D70 acoustic guitar shipped to me from Vermont. It rings, it sings, it probably still needs some work and I’ll deal with that [...]

Yes, I will wear a robot costume and simulate sex for your student film. Because you are my friend. And I am an actress. The director was Justin. Justin was creative, but not driven, a lanky butterface with an explosive head of curly hair, that now, the summer after our first year of college, was shaved [...]

Sometimes one doesn’t want to live by the phrase “Put a Bird on It.” Sometimes you want to put a tiny horse on it instead. TinyHorses.tumblr.com: Because the world needed to understand the importance of horses that are tiny.

Taught a penguin to fly. Sold a bottle of my bitter tears to some dumb hipsters and told them it was Malort. Force fed Gwnyth Paltrow Lay’s Chicken and Waffles potato chips. Winked to the east and made the entire city of Cincinnati swoon. Decided I’ll only have children if I get bored with being [...]

HAHAHAHA ok i applied.

If you like Tim and Eric, here is a song not by them. Instead, it comes from the brain–yes,singular–of Sean Ellis and Maari Suorsa:

Bike Rider got a flat. A big ol’ tack nail in her tire. The sharp piece of metal lodged itself so firmly it didn’t even deflate the tire upon penetration. Just a slow burn, taunting the rider of the eventual doomed commute home. It’s winter. It’s cold. A cycling windbreaker was no match for Chicago’s [...]

Heads up – I’ll be attacking the internet after Christmas to force you all to praise me and my talented friend Jason Adams on our t-shirt design in the form of voting. There is no room for failure. Voting starts December 26th.