type cast as awkward
I haven’t booked enough of anything to feel quite comfortable popping in my agent’s office, but go out on enough auditions and callbacks to feel like I should stop in and say hello. That’s what actors do, right? They send chocolate or flowers or chocolate-covered flowers and then become rich and famous?
The office itself is set up like a doctor’s office with a waiting area and a window, so if you’re like me, you feel that’s the necessary porthole through which you must speak.
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY THAT SOUND CAN BE TRANSFERRED.
I’m just dropping off my new head shot.
YOU MUST SPEAK THROUGH THE WINDOW.
See? Head. Shot.
I CANNOT HEAR YOU UNLESS YOU SPEAK THROUGH THE WINDOW.
It’s like they’re in prison and they have to pick up the phone to talk to their actors. To the right is a door, a welcoming, open door that anyone can walk through to say hello. There have been numerous times that I’ve stood frozen, directly to the left of the window unsure of how to say, “Hi, friendly people who get paid a cut each time I book something and therefore are automatically pleasant to me, I wanted to just invite you all to my show.” I feel like I need to present them with my insurance card and open with, “Doesn’t this mole look funny?”
Today I had a legitimate pop-in excuse, I was dropping off flyers for Tupperware, and I stood (hid) by the elevator until a brassy-voiced actor with a kettle drum stomach left their office after visiting them like a normal person. I walked in, hovering over the ground and stared at them with my best deer-in-headlight impression, through the window, of course.
“I have a new show. I came to drop off flyers for my new show.”
“Oh, Thee-ah! I walked right past you by the elevator and I didn’t say hi!”
“Hi… I’m just gonna put these…here.”
I don’t know if I finished my sentence, really. I think I just trailed off or threw a smoke bomb to escape or something. The other girls didn’t really seem to take notice of me, or of the fact that my name was mispronounced, or the fact that I kind of left out with no official goodbye or chat session. So… Uh, yeah… Pop-in completed and flyers delivered, even though it probably wasn’t worth anyone’s time.
As long as they don’t notice I vomited on their rug, I’m golden.
Tags: acting
